
Domestic Abuse Video - My motivation for writing The Price of Love.
Book
Excerpts
The
Price of Love: Chpt. 1 Excerpt
It became clear he simply
wasn’t interested in being a father to
me. I don’t think fathers truly understand
how much damage they do in a child’s life
by not being there. Not having your father leaves
a void that nothing else can fill. Growing up,
we had been so close and spent so much time
together, and then nothing… not
even a phone call or a card on my birthday.
Sometimes I think about
all the things we missed out on doing together.
I think that little
girls learn about relationships from how their
fathers treat their mothers—and how their
fathers treat them. When a man takes care of
his responsibilities to love and nurture his
little girl, she’s likely to attract someone
who loves and nurtures her in a relationship.
But if she never
had a father, then she spends her entire adult
life seeking a father figure—when what
she really needs is a man who loves and cherishes
her. Fathers build self-esteem in little girls
and let them know what is (or is not) acceptable
behavior from a man. Good fathers give their
little girls a sense of safety and protection.
Good fathers protect their little girls from
harm and let them know what harm looks like—so
they can recognize it from a distance. Not having
that constant influence around can be devastating.
The
Price of Love: Chpt. 3 Excerpt
Whitney relived the
entire experience in her mind and then shared
it with the two women: “Kevin’s
court date was coming up in a couple of months.
In addition to the break up of our relationship
by both of our parents, my parents had it in
for me. I had all phone privileges taken away.
When they left home, they would take the phones
with them to make sure I didn’t contact
Kevin. I could only go to school and to my part-time
job; no more extracurricular activities. My
parents had lost so much trust in me that I
could no longer sleep with my bedroom door closed.
But to me, my parents’ punishment was
a piece of cake compared to what I had to go
through with Kevin.
“Every day leading
up to the court date he pressured me to convince
my parents to drop the charges against him.
He began making me skip lunch and meet him in
the vocational building so he could interrogate
me. Kevin constantly told me the situation was
all my fault, and that it was my obligation
to get him off the hook. I believed him. I would
go home and try talking to my mom about dropping
the charges, but she wouldn’t budge. Every
time I came back and told him the charges weren’t
getting dropped he would beat me up in school
and then force me to have sex.
“The more Kevin
and I fought, the more withdrawn I became. I
still loved him with all my heart, but he only
seemed interested in getting himself out of
trouble. By now, he was forcing me to secretly
have sex with him at school every day. I was
now having sex with Kevin out of obligation—not
because I loved him. I was too scared to tell
anyone what was going on, and I was too afraid
to confront him for fear that he was going to
hit me again. I felt my loyalty was to Kevin
instead of myself.
“Stress and anxiety
ruled my life. I was dealing with tension at
home between my parents, and tension at school
with Kevin. Every relationship in my life was
strained.
“I had tried and
failed to get the charges dropped up until the
night before his court date. Kevin finally decided
to take matters into his own hands and showed
up at my house to speak to my parents himself.
As we sat on the couch, Kevin did what he did
best—and talked his way out of trouble.
He apologized, begged and...
The
Price of Love: Chpt. 6 Excerpt
December 4, 1998 will
forever remain etched into my mind. Kevin continued
his routine of calling and harassing me, but
not as much that particular night. He had called
me and stated he had gotten off work and was
heading home. I was getting off shortly after
that call.
My shift was almost
over so I decided to take off my pantyhose because
they had been itching and irritating me all
night. It was late and cold outside. Kell and
two other female co-workers walked out of the
building with me. Because of the protective
order, I was able to park right outside the
building, so I offered to drive the three of
them to their cars at the top of the hill.
We all got in and drove
across the parking lot. When I went over the
first speed bump, I noticed that my trunk light
came on. That struck me as odd, because I hadn’t
been in my trunk all day. Kell said, “I
hope that crazy ex-husband of yours hasn’t
tampered with your car and planted a bomb in
it.” We all laughed because they knew
that lately Kevin had been acting crazier than
usual.
When we went over the
second speed bump, the light came on again,
and we agreed to check it out once we got to
their parked cars. One of the women with us
got out along with Kell and tried to open the
trunk. I pulled the trunk release lever, but
nothing happened. When they pulled on the trunk
again, Kevin jumped out and everybody started
running and screaming. I jumped out of the car
and started running to get away.
I kicked off my high-heeled
shoes, but the pavement was cold and it cut
into my bare feet. So, I just ran around the
car trying to keep away from Kevin. One of the
supervisors from work came running over because
he saw Kevin jump out of the trunk. There was
mass confusion. Kevin started pulling at his
pants as if he had a gun, and I was afraid that
he was going to hurt my co-workers, my friends
and me. He demanded that I go with him, so I
agreed.
“Whitney, don’t
go with him,” they begged me. “You
don’t know what he’s gonna do to
you. Please don’t go anywhere.”
I was practically begging
Kevin, “Please just leave my friends alone.
They don’t have anything to do with this.
I’ll go with you, but please don’t
hurt anyone else. Just leave them out of this.”
He agreed, and I got in the car.
Kevin took off driving
and was speeding out of the parking lot. My
supervisor tried to jump in the car, and Kevin
almost hit and killed him with his reckless
driving. I screamed for him to slow down and
tried to grab the steering wheel.
He just ignored
my words and then dug his thumb into my eye
to punish me. The car swerved across two lanes
of traffic and I literally feared for my life.
In the back of my mind I thought, “Tonight
is the night that I’m going to die. One
way or the other, my life is going to end.”
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